September 7, 2026
Have you ever helped someone—only to realize later that your help may have actually kept them stuck?
Most of us don't step in because we have bad hearts; we step in because we care.
We see someone struggling and instinctively want to make life easier. We solve the problem. Remove the obstacle. Carry something they are struggling to carry.
It feels like love.
But sometimes loving people well means something different: Believing they are capable of carrying what is theirs to carry.
Rescuing someone and helping them grow are different.
Rescuing answers the immediate need; growth develops the person who will face the next one, and that can require something from us, too.
The patience to let someone wrestle.
The restraint not to provide the answer.
The courage to allow a consequence.
The wisdom to ask a question instead of solving the problem.
Because when we continually provide the answer, people can learn to look to us for answers.
But when we create room for them to think, wrestle, discover, and decide, something else begins to grow: Their own capacity.
Maybe that's one of the most meaningful things our influence can do: not make people need us more but rather help them become more capable without us.
So instead of immediately asking, "How can I help?"
We might ask:
What do you see as a possible solution?
What options have you considered?
What do you believe you need to do next?
Sometimes your greatest influence isn't having the answer. It's helping someone discover they are capable of finding one.
Believe bigger for people.
Believe they can think.
Believe they can learn.
Believe they can take responsibility.
Believe they can do hard things.
Believe they can grow.
Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is the room to discover that for themselves.
Give them the gift of growth.
And before you step in this week, perhaps ask yourself: Will what I'm about to do help this person become stronger—or simply make this moment easier?
There are times when love carries the load, and there are times when love believes someone else can –wisdom is learning the difference.
____________________________________
Carry It With You
What is this week's Happy Monday inviting me to notice?
Where might my desire to help be keeping someone from doing something they are capable of doing themselves?
Why does it matter?
Am I helping this person become stronger—or simply making this moment easier?
What will I do with it?
Where could I resist the urge to solve this week and ask a good question instead?
________________________________________
Until next Monday, keep becoming!