May 4, 2026
“When you believe in someone and demonstrate that belief, they begin believing in themselves too.” - John Maxwell
A critic is a person who expresses an unfavorable opinion of something. A coach is someone who inspires inward and forward momentum.
Harvard Business School studied the correlation between team performance and the frequency of praise and criticism from team members.
The question was: Which is more effective at improving team performance: using positive feedback to let people know when they're doing well, or offering constructive feedback to help them when they're off track?
The average ratio for the highest-performing teams was 5.6 (nearly six positive comments for every negative one).
The medium-performance teams averaged 1.9 (almost twice as many positive comments as negative ones).
However, the average for the low-performing teams, at 0.36 to 1, was almost three negative comments for every positive one.
American psychologist John Gottman has found similar results linking personal relationships to positive and negative comments that affect happiness.
It's counterintuitive to think that discipline or course correction can be done more successfully with positive than negative comments; however, that's how we’re wired. It's important to guide those around us by sharing what we see them doing well more often than what we see them doing wrong.
No one stands taller in their leadership influence than when they pause to encourage and enrich someone else. When you believe in someone and show that belief, they also begin to believe in themselves.
Stop and think: Do I want to be a critic or a coach? Do I want to guide, encourage, and enrich the lives of others, or do I want to critique and point out where they failed?
Everyone (including yourself) deeply needs appreciation from birth to death. Feeling valued brings out the best in people. As Bob Goff states, “Most people need love and acceptance before they need advice.”
It takes a lot more work to be a coach, but the reward of seeing those we’ve been entrusted to love, lead, serve, and grow move toward their possibilities and potential is worth the increased intentionality!
I love being a force for good that sets souls on fire by reminding people — starting within my home—of who they are, rather than focusing on who they are not. There are enough voices, including their own, that reinforce that message.
Together, let’s use our influence to set souls on fire -- what a movement to be part of!
Intentionally Own It! What growth does this message inspire me to embrace, and why does it matter? When I embrace it, who am I becoming, and what value does this add to my life and to others?