July 6, 2026
One of the hidden tests in life and leadership is what happens inside us when someone else succeeds and we do not.
Most of us enjoy our own victories. The greater challenge is often learning how to respond when someone else receives the promotion, favor, influence, opportunity, or breakthrough we were hoping for ourselves.
As influencers, one of the most revealing questions we can ask ourselves is: "What happens inside us when someone else succeeds in the very areas where we are desiring success?" These situations help us recognize whether there is smallness or bigness inside us.
One thing to note is that smallness repels what we say we want. One of the costly results of inner smallness is that it often repels the very people we say we want around us. People with big dreams, big character, big skill sets, and big core values are not inspired to partner with small-mindedness.
Strong people are looking for secure leaders. They are drawn to environments where their gifts will be celebrated, their voice will be valued, their growth will be encouraged, and their success will not be treated as a threat.
If our leadership culture subtly communicates, "Do not outshine me," then high-capacity people will eventually shrink, disconnect, or move on. They probably will not bring their best dreams and strongest contributions into that environment.
This is why becoming bigger on the inside is not just about personal freedom. It is about leadership capacity. The size of our inner world often determines the size of the people we can attract, empower, and keep.
Ways we grow bigger on the inside:
Celebrate intentionally. When someone receives a blessing, a promotion, or a breakthrough, we can choose to celebrate before comparing. Celebration is one of the most powerful antidotes to bitter envy.
Live tethered to gratitude. Gratitude enlarges the heart. It shifts our focus from what we lack to what accomplishments.
Refuse comparison. Comparison makes us experts on what we do not have. Wisdom from above helps us appreciate our own assignment while honoring others' assignments.
Speak blessing. When we feel tempted to criticize or diminish someone, we can intentionally speak encouragement, honor, and life. We can do this verbally and in our thinking. Blessing changes the atmosphere of our hearts.
Be immeasurably more. Attract and empower people who do not need to shrink to belong by creating environments where bigger dreams, bigger character, bigger skill sets, and bigger core values can flourish.
Intentionally Own It! What growth does this message inspire me to embrace, and why does it matter? When I embrace it, who am I becoming, and what value does this add to my life and to others?
Adapted from Steve Backlund